To Bertha Ballou from “Anne in Florence” – November 20th, 1936
[Note: This same month, Benito Mussolini first referred to the existence of a “German-Italian axis,” Germany announced that it would no longer observe the articles in the Treaty of Versailles, and Winston Churchill said: “The era of procrastination, of half measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to a close (…) In its place, we are entering a period of consequences.”]
Dearest Bertha,
Thank you for your sweet letters. Needless to say, I am delighted to hear that you are seriously considering the possibility of joining me over here, and I do hope something satisfactory can be arranged for us both. I wrote you a long letter two days, tore up half yesterday, and rewrote it – then tore it all up this morning! There seems so much to say and yet. Long letters seem sometimes to convey so little.
Marjorie has had the excellent idea that she write you herself because she could perhaps explain better the kind of thing she does for me and the kind of life we together here.
Rodolfo is here for a few days so Marjorie’s time is of course much taken up with him and when not with him with me. But when he leaves on Sunday, she will be able to settle down again and could write you. Therefore perhaps it is best that I don’t go into too much detail now.
They are now planning to be married early in February; her brother and sister are coming over for the wedding and afterwards her sister could stay with me until you could join me in April. Agnes Walker, the sister, is very different from Marjorie; and and we all think that she and I would not get along well together for a long period, but for a comparatively short time, it should, I hope, work out all right.
My dear, how dreadful about the fire in your old home! I was so distressed for you, but what a mercy that none of you were injured at all. It must have been an awful shock and no wonder your poor mother collapsed! And how particularly trying for you too to have this happen just at the time you were also having the ordeal of divorce proceedings. Comble de malheur, indeed. Wow, you need a lot of good luck, to make up!
I feel so happy and secure about Marjorie’s future – Rodolfo really is one of the best – an exceptionally fine person combining so many admirable qualities, not the least of which is unselfish and consideration for other people. So I really feel she is getting a husband who is worthy of her.
My non-future, like yours, seems to present many problems: But as you say things usually work out for the best in the long run, so we must take things a step at a time and hope for the best.
For a while, I felt that I wanted to make out of this apartment soon after the wedding, into something with more space and a little more in the country. On second thought, I don’t know: I would have to sublet this place first, in order to move, as our lease here does not expire until next October. And with the general political situation in Europe so very problematical I hesitate to tie myself up with a new lease too hastily. There are so many pros and cons on so many sublets, so much to decide – if only one could be sure of peace and a fixed income life would be simpler. However all may yet be well, and we have much to be very grateful for. Everything at the present moment is going very well indeed here and so far as M. is concerned my mind at rest.
This is rather an unsatisfactory letter my dear, that I feel it is not fair to you not to ____ it if ______ further revision and rewriting. Marjorie will write you later and that will help you, I feel, to decide whether you really want to come over for a year. I would love to have you, be assured of that my dear, if I feel sure that you yourself will be happy taking on these new responsibilities and ties.
But as I say you will know better when M. writes you perhaps – I want you to know everything in advance – I would hate you to be disappointed afterwards and feel that things were not as you had thought. I want you to be happy. Then I will be very happy, too! But if you feel that it is not a life that would appeal, please tell me so frankly first. Our friendship won’t suffer, I know that and we will have some good times together yet, as you say, whatever is decided.
Oh, Bertha, let us hope that peace can continue! The world is so beautiful, life is so pleasant as it is. I try to tell myself that it will go on and yet something whispers, deep down, that it won’t. That because of that horrible thing, Bolshevism, that war will come again… When, we don’t know…
Meanwhile, let us be happy and enjoy the present and hope… M. naturally feels she wants to be safely married first, as all nice women do. I know I would in her place – it’s one of those elemental deep rooted instincts.
Well, my dear, baste per ora. I appreciated your letter more than I can tell you. You are so wonderful about everything.
Much love,
Devotedly,
Anne